Grandparents have the best of both worlds, and we earned it

By Shaun Tumpane

Laguna Woods Globe columnist

It seems that every day, one of my friends announces, “Hey! I’m going to be a grandpa … again.”

One of my acknowledged children and spouse added to the family brood three weeks ago. A blessed event indeed. It conjures up an inestimable number of memories.

You remember, the 2 a.m. feedings when you had to nudge your beloved and whisper, “The baby’s hungry,” intimating that you’d wish she’d hurry up and start feeding the mouse that’s roaring so you could get back to sleeping.

I still remember how often that worked – like, not at all.

Yes, there’s nothing like being rustled out of bed in the middle of the night, stumbling to wherever the siren sound was emanating from, and have to use your foggy skills of deduction to ascertain the end of the baby upon which to focus, praying all the while that the wee one was just hungry, not uncomfortable.

My generation’s childbearing years thankfully coincided with the advent of hardly-ever-leaky disposable diapers.

To this day, I know of no man who did not feign ignorance and claimed to be afflicted with fumble fingers, if not outright arthritis, when it came to the algebra, geometry and manual dexterity of cloth diaper changing.

The best advice I received from my father when it came to changing diapers, cloth or otherwise, was, “Miss the diaper pail a few times and you might just get fired.”

OK, he may never have said that. I may have dreamed it.

Ah, the joy of parenthood. I have fond memories of not sleeping for nine years, omnipresent crying/screaming, burning my wrists checking formula temperatures, being up close and personal to some of the most fetid, reeking, malodorous, rank aromas known to man, and my personal favorite, projectile vomiting. Yes, those were the days …

Fast forward 30 years or so. In my dotage, I dote on my grandchildren. They’re adorable, funny, uncoordinated, wide-eyed, constantly curious and generally loving by nature.

The best part? Having no trouble at all passing the cherub to one of its parents when it cries or smells. Schadenfreude!

In some ways, grandparents have the best of both worlds. We have marvelous fun with the little tykes, and when we get tired, or the maintenance (scheduled or unscheduled) of children occurs, we pass the child, like a baton, back to a parent. I rarely have experienced such bliss.

And, let’s face it, we earned it. I loved being a parent, learning as much as I taught, raising my incredible bundles of joy. I admit, however, that I chuckle listening to my son, who now has a 3-year-old and a newborn, as he shares the joys and travails of parenthood. Where’s the Febreze?

Columnist Shaun Tumpane is a Laguna Woods Village resident.