By Shaun Tumpane
Laguna Woods Globe columnist
Americans love their pets, be it canine, feline, reptilian, fuzzy wittle bunny wabbits or goldfish.
They say you can’t buy love, but when you observe the reaction of a dog upon seeing its owner entering the house, you’d think the owner had just returned from a lengthy business trip, not back from checking the mailbox.
Full disclosure, I am not a cat person. When a human cohabitates with one or more cats (and truly, we all ought to keep an eye on anyone who lives with more than three), the question must be asked: Who’s the alpha, the biped or that darn cat?
The human is in charge of buying and serving cat food and water, purchasing a litter box and maintaining the litter box – filling and refilling it with kitty litter, which means, of course, digging out all the little gifts the cat has deposited in, on or near the litter box. Note to self: If you ever get a cat, make sure it’s a finicky neatnik to increase the odds of it not making a mess when it makes a mess.
For all you dog lovers out there, I’m not sure your choice of pet/companion makes any more sense. Yes, dogs seem to genuinely love their masters, even those that most of their fellow humans can’t stand.
Dogs interact with their owners in the most demonstrative ways, running to meet them, barking delightfully as if to say, “Oh, thank heaven you’re home. I’ve missed you, I love you, how about a treat, or ribeye bone, or maybe take me for a walk?”
So, say you’re contemplating getting a puppy. Before you give in to all those touchy-feely emotions of happiness, contentment and all the warm fuzzy feelings your mind conjures up in these instances (no one ever thinks of dog movies like, “Cujo,” “Old Yeller” or “They Only Kill Their Masters”), consider this: Dogs like to go on walks, whether you do or not. Dogs use the great outdoors as their personal port-a-potty. In recent decades, local governments have mandated that dog owners clean up after little Fifi, Suzette or Moose.
I refer to dogs that can be carried with one arm as “dropkick dogs.” These ankle biters are cute, to be sure, and if one is to scoop up the poop, my mantra is, the smaller the dog the better.
Laguna Woods is teeming with cherished pets. Most residents are law-abiding. However, if you ever see a dog walker peering around the perimeter looking for would-be witnesses before starting to scoop, we’re talking a potential crime scene.
In Paris, tourists look up at monuments. The Parisians look down at sidewalks. Watch your step!
Shaun Tumpane is a Laguna Woods Village resident.
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