You never want to be the victim of a crash-and-burn or center of a highlight-reel wipeout for those watching you surf for the first time.
But it happened.
While I did “get up” on a surfboard during a maiden voyage trying to catch waves off 30th Street in Newport Beach, my ensuing face plant in two inches of water at the end of a brief ride spelled doom to a surfing chapter I’ve been seeking my whole life.
Born and raised in Orange County, I’ve covered, watched and read about surfing for years, and always wanted to try it, finally getting up the nerve upon the beckoning of Irrelevant Week CEO Melanie Fitch as part of a signature event for Irrelevant Week, which celebrates the last pick in the NFL draft and raises money for charity.
If there was ever an unforgettable moment to fuel a self-deprecating summer column, this is it.
“You were a superstar for the first few seconds, and then it was the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat,” said Ed Fitch, Melanie’s husband who helps support and organize the weeklong Irrelevant Week festivities. “That was the most classic face plant I’ve ever seen. I will never forget that image.”
I’m not young, or in supreme physical shape, and after experiencing some recent medical issues, I figured if I ever wanted to try surfing, this was an opportunity. But I never expected to be a topic of discussion based on a wipeout.
“I was surprised you got back up. I saw you get up on the board, then, oh, I saw you go down,” Ed Fitch said, his face cringing. “We were all looking at you and thought, ‘Is he OK?’ I was almost ready to call 911, and then you got up and were smiling.”
It happened so fast. There was no time for my hands to get out in front and shield the plunge, just after standing up for the first time at the end of the shoreline, which was too late in the ride to try getting upright. But I couldn’t resist after years of daydreaming about “The Endless Summer.”
I was part of a contingent of surfing novices, including Mr. Irrelevant Jaylen Key and his father, Elijah, all benefiting from the assistance of the Newport Beach Boardriders Club. A huge thank you goes out to club directors and surf instructors Grant Collins and Beau Irvine.
“I saw you get close (to the shoreline) at the end, where I was (after many attempts), and when I saw how close you were to the shore and how shallow that water was, I said, ‘No, don’t try to get up!’ then boom – face plant, down you went,” Elijah Key quipped, his face wincing. “I saw you go straight vertical, and then straight horizontal.”
Elijah Key and I shared the same sentiment following our initial surf lesson. We will likely never try surfing again, but we have a new-found admiration for surfers.
Jaylen Key, selected by the New York Jets with the 257th and final choice in the 2024 NFL draft, was sensational in the water, enjoying at least a half dozen lengthy rides, including some of the highest scores in Irrelevant history as former surfing world champion and announcer Peter Townend was on hand to “judge” the honoree’s rides with scorecards labeled one through five.
“It felt pretty natural,” said Key, an athletic 6-foot-2, 210-pound. He will open NFL training camp next week with the Jets.
“Jaylen did the best in the four years I’ve been involved, (and) gave him a five, the highest score yet,” Townend said. “I have to leave some scorecard room as one day a Mr. Irrelevant pick might have been a surfer. Jaylen did great and his dad and sisters (Aniyah and Eliana) got out there, too.”
Irrelevant Week benefited Children’s Hospital of Orange County and the Orange County Youth Sports Foundation. But, ouch, the things we’ll do for charity.
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